From the Heart of a Romance Writer

Done!

2009-07-28T10:49:00.001-04:00

So, it took me longer than expected, but I am finally done.

I'm going to breathe for a couple of days, and to all of you who have sent emails with questions and such, I'll be getting back to you either tomorrow or the day after.

The last thing I want to do right now is write anything.

=)

Happy writing to you all!

Silence is golden

2009-07-16T15:32:00.003-04:00

I'm still working. Still whittling down the word count and polishing scenes.

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still around.

Manuscript 1 (the regency) is already on the editor's desk.

Manuscript 2 (the contemporary) is getting ready to fly out of my hands and into hers. (Well, I'm getting ready to chuck it really, really hard out of my hands).

Hopefully, next week will have a semblance of calm and I'll be able to post some stuff. When I say that I have been 24/7 consumed with the book, I mean that literally.

It'd be nice to see daylight again.

On the Cusp of Something Wonderful

2009-07-03T08:50:00.000-04:00

I'm wondering if I'm alone in the sentiment. I find, now that my dreams are finally actualizing in front of my eyes, that I'm getting cold feet.

I mean the kind of "hitch up your wedding dress and run far, far away from the altar" cold feet. (For the record, I did no hitching or running on my wedding day . . . just throwin' that out as an example).

Many times over the past few weeks, I've thought about setting the pen down, never to pick it up again. It's one thing to write for my enjoyment, but do write my little stories as a job?

Shudder.

I know I'm whining, and I'm really trying not to, but I feel rather poised on a precipice . . . and one wrong move (or adjective--if you will) could send me tumbling down either side.

Hmm.

Just a thought for the day.

Quote of the Day

2009-07-01T08:49:00.001-04:00

"Many suffer from the incurable disease of writing and it becomes chronic in their sick minds."

--Juvenal (lived 60-130 AD)

HaHaHa . . . how funny, and yet sadly true.

Craziest--yet oddly capitivating--photo yet!

2009-06-30T08:38:00.001-04:00

I was on google (story of my life it seems), looking for pictures of England to help motivate me. So I did what any clever person would do: typed in "inspiring pictures of England."

That didn't bring up much of anything of value.

Okay, next shot: beautiful England.

Jackpot.

I found the above picture. I've no idea what it is (and didn't want to distract myself from editing by doing research) but I'm transfixed.

I do know that it's called the Plug Hole at the Ladybower Reservoir in Derbyshire (and after that . . . who knows?)

Picture from EnglandTravelPictures.com

Just a quick note

2009-06-29T12:06:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone had a great weekend. It's hot as the blazes here, but at least the AC is working. Thank God for that!!!

I have to give a little recommendation. For those of you looking for something to read in the Regency vein--but something different than the traditional Duke meets a beautiful, but lowly, woman who he falls in love with and must go to any lengths to wed . . .

And for those of you who think that Pride and Prejudice can never be over-used, or read too many times . . .

Here is the book for you:

Austenland by Shannon Hale

It's such a different take on the old classic; I really enjoyed it. I'm actually contemplating being slack and taking a few moments to skim back through it.

Just don't tell anyone!

Okay, so maybe not a sinus infection--

2009-06-27T23:46:00.003-04:00

Alright, so the verdict from the Doctor's:

Strep Throat
Middle Ear infection (left ear)
Inner Ear infection (right ear)
Bronchitis.

Seriously? I'm not amused. At all.

However, I am ecstatic. Not about the odd barrage of illnesses, but about the letter I received in the mail today.

A request for the full on my second book!

Yay.

Back to work.

Thanks for the Sinus Infection.

2009-06-24T10:05:00.002-04:00

Yep. I'm supposed to be spending all my time revising and polishing.

What am I doing instead?

Blowing my nose, griping about my ears hurting, and trying to think of every way I can not to have to eat or drink anything.

So I'm off to the Doctor's. Yay. A complete waste of my precious, limited time.

It's All in the Rewrite

2009-06-18T09:32:00.000-04:00

Almost there.

That's what I keep telling myself to get me through the next several days. I've got a 170 something pages staring back at me, waiting for the slashing strokes of my purple pen (red seems so cliche).

But I've also got about 130 already done, so I suppose that's something to celebrate.

Now, for more Tylenol and some more revising.

I've been slacking--

2009-06-17T10:16:00.007-04:00

Last night, I watched an episode of Ghost Hunters International (so what? it makes me laugh), and one of the segments was on Woodchester Mansion in England. After seeing a preview that had a picture of the home, I immediately sat a bit straighter in my seat.

Hmm, I thought to myself, I can use this as research. In a way. Kind of. Whatever!

Above is the beautiful (and purportedly haunted home).

On the outside, the home is absolutely beautiful. Hauntingly so =) Inside, from best I could tell from the rooms the paranormal crew was in, it is unfinished. Story is that the laborers got spooked by something, left their tools in the middle of the room, and never returned. That myth was later debunked on the show, turns out that the money for the project just ran dry, and the crew thought they might be returning soon . . . so they left their stuff. Nothing too exciting or spooky there.

But, and I'm not one to buy into a lot of the "haunted" stories (odd, I know, since I was watching the show), some weird things did happen that night at the mansion.

Here's a good place to go for some info on the house: History of Woodchester Mansion

I like to think of some of my (wealthier) characters living in something this lavish. With the inside finished, of course, and without any little ghosties running around.

Photo from: Quest for Ghosts

Sorry for the silence . . .

2009-06-17T09:28:00.001-04:00

But I got the request for the FULL!!!!

So, I've been super busy trying to get it out in the next week or so.

But I'll try to schedule some posts sometime today.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Quote for the Day

2009-06-11T09:06:00.001-04:00

"Beginning writers must appreciate the prerequisites if they hope to become writers. You pay your dues—which takes years."

--Alex Haley

I'd Live There--

2009-06-09T09:14:00.000-04:00

I love how people are always talking about how quaint cottages are. Where I live, if someone's trying to sell a run down, two or three room (including the bedroom) house, then they call it a cottage.

So--still in Regency mode--I did a search looking for "English Country Cottage" on Google Images.

Here is one of the results:

Please tell me I'm not the only one looking at that and thinking I could fit my house in there two, maybe even three, times.

Oh to be a poor Englishwoman in the old days, who had to live in a "little" cottage.

Bliss

2009-06-08T15:36:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite things to do when it starts getting sweltering outside (which, here in the south, happens in like March) is to sit outside on a nice screened in porch, with the fan overhead on high, and a glass of tea.

Sweet tea, of course.

I suppose I'm a stereotypical Southerner in that aspect. But today, with just the barest hint of a breeze, that works fine for me.

Stephenie Meyer, What Have You Done?

2009-06-07T08:51:00.001-04:00

Seriously.

I don't begrudge the woman her fame and success.

(Although, I personally don't understand the mania . . . but I kind of think it has something to do with this guy--------------->

Call me crazy if you wish, and yes, I realize the books were popular before the movie, but I think all the continued hype is because of how the movies were cast.)

Anyway, back to my question to Mrs. Meyer. What have you done to the publishing world?

This series of books has done something that Anne Rice hadn't been able to do in all her years of writing: usher in a golden age of Vampire mania. Nearly every young adult book on the shelf nowadays is about Vampires, Werewolves, and other creepy, creepy things.

For those of you out there who write for a young adult market, I'm curious as to how the new trend in publishing is affecting what you write. Or even what you read. Is it even possible to find a good solid romance for teens that doesn't have paranormal influences?

I'm starting to wonder.

Encouraging Thought for the Day

2009-06-06T09:00:00.001-04:00

"Write what you care about and understand. Writers should never try to outguess the marketplace in search of a salable idea; the simple truth is that all good books will eventually find a publisher if the writer tries hard enough, and a central secret to writing a good book is to write on that people like you will enjoy."

--Richard North Patterson

Vacation . . . kind of

2009-06-05T08:41:00.000-04:00

Today, I'm leaving to go visit my husband's family up north a ways. And if there's anything I'm looking forward to, it's a long car ride with a fussing toddler in the backseat.

I will attempt to be noble and tote my laptop with me and try to peck out some words while on the way, but probably what will happen is my battery will quickly die, I'll get frustrated and just decide to take a nap.

Not like this has happened before, or anything, though.

Then once I'm there, I get to hobnob with people I've only met twice in my married life (only three years, but still . . .). Yay!

This may sound like complaining. And . . . it is.

But hopefully I'll have some funny stories when I get back and--perhaps--some new inspiration for my next book.

While I may not be here over the weekend, I've scheduled some posts to go out (thank God I found that feature), so be sure and check back. And check often =)

A Helpful Blog Link

2009-06-04T08:01:00.000-04:00

I absolutely adore this blog and find myself trying to take notes sometimes as I read.

http://regencyramble.blogspot.com/

It is a must see for the regency writer!

Obsessing

2009-06-03T08:06:00.001-04:00

I don't think I'm unique in this problem. At least, I hope I'm not.

But one of the things that I have to be reminded of over, and over, and over is not to edit as you write.

It seems like a simple concept. And I thought so as well. I would simply type out the words as they came to me and move on. Easy enough.

But oh, wait . . . I just misspelled a word.

I forgot to italicize something.

Crap, there's the main character's name without the end letter.

And, you know, while I'm at it, I didn't quite like the way this phrase sounded back on the other page.

The paragraph after that seems to be a little long. Maybe I should take some stuff out.

OH! I can add the extra to this part.

See how easy it is for me to wind up reworking the entire piece I've just written? It happens all the time. I obsess about what I can see on the screen in front of me, and it keeps me from working efficiently and effectively.

Not surprisingly, I hardly get anything done on the days I'm like that. And what I do finish usually gets revised again later anyway (I did say I was a perfectionist, didn't I?).

The most helpful piece of advice I've gotten lately was from an author at the conference. She said to turn off the spell/grammar check just while you're writing. That way the little red and green squiggles won't distract you. You can always turn it back on again later, and you won't waste valuable time.

So, kind of skeptical, I tried it. The first day I wrote 2,000 words (about average for me). The next day, I one upped the offed spell check. I zoomed in on Word until I could only see one or two words as I typed (I think it was zoom to 500% if anyone wants to try it).

How many did I get that day, you may ask . . .

15,000.

It may all be garbage by the time I get back to it, but hey, "the only thing you can't edit is a blank page."

A Photo for the Regency Fans

2009-06-01T11:17:00.004-04:00

I find photos of people, landscape, landmarks, etc. help when I'm trying to work on a manuscript (I think because I have to jump around time periods so much).

I've returned, for a time, to the Regency romance and needed something visual to get the creative process started.

Here is the inspiring picture of Hyde Park I found online:

It's so calming and secluded.

I could picture two lovers meeting here.

I could also picture myself throwing down a blanket and taking a nice, long nap. But that really kind of defeats the point of the picture exercise, doesn't it?

Oh well, hope this speaks to you as much as it did me.

Photo by Ashley Campbell, and it can be found: http://www.usm.edu/internationaledu/ip_1/photocontest_winners_experience.htm

Apologies . . . with an update

2009-06-01T10:59:00.002-04:00

Wow, I'm always amazed by how much time I let slip through my fingers when I get busy. So I have to apologize for not posting sooner/more frequently.

I've been consumed with prepping for a conference I attended last week. (The perfectionist writer in me had to edit, re-edit, and then revise pieces I was taking with me).

The conference went well. Really, really well. I had private meetings with two agents and an editor, and while I'm not going to jinx anything by blabbing all about it ;o) (I guess I can be superstitious as well), let me just say some good things are on the horizon.

I promise to keep everyone updated from now on.

Or I'll try, really, really hard to.

Inspirational Quote of the Day

2009-04-28T09:56:00.002-04:00

"Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."

--E. L. Doctorow

Writing when you don't feel like it . . .

2009-04-27T15:02:00.002-04:00

I hope this upcoming confession doesn't make me a "bad" writer, or at least one that's not dedicated. Here goes . . .

Sometimes, I hate writing. Hate the wresting of words from a brain that seems too tired and overwrought to produce anything of quality. Hate the demand on my time and the often visible lack of progress. Hate the fact that sometimes writing keeps me from doing other stuff I enjoy (like taking naps, reading, or watching some reality tv).

That seems to be where I am today.

I've done just about everything on the computer I could do without once clicking on the Word icon. I've read continuous updates about the Swine Flu, I've updated by Excel Budget Spreadsheet twice, and I may or may not have played a few online games of Gold Miner Las Vegas. I might have even decided to write a blog post about the subject just to have a few more moments to stall.

My self imposed deadline to have this next proposal sent out is Friday. It's approaching quickly. And I'm no where near done. Surprise. Surprise.

And yet, I'm still dragging my feet.

I'm still trying to crack the secret of what exactly to do when I feel this way. But I don't think there's any magic cure. As my friend would say, the solution isn't easy . . . but it's simple. You don't have to enjoy it. Just GET IT DONE.

And after discussing the issue in the past with other writer friends, I've come to a conclusion.

We don't get to call ourselves writers just because we LOVE it. Truthfully, writing is painful sometimes. Sometimes the subject matter is intense and stretching. Other times, life makes even thinking about the craft difficult. If we could only be writers when we are "in love" with our jobs, I wonder how many of us would make the cut.

We're writers because we write.

Even when we're tired, stressed, and there's a brand new episode of The Bachelor(ette) coming on.

Wow . . . Has it been a year?

2009-04-25T12:56:00.002-04:00

I suppose it has. Well, almost. And I'm fairly sad to say that my life has not become increasingly exciting in the past 12 months. I seem to be in a continuous holding pattern. Here are some of the highlights.

Had an inspirational Regency romance requested by a Christian publisher. Then later bypassed to go with a previously published author's book.
Had same regency romance seen at another publisher. Also flopped . . . but with a very encouraging note.
Revised/Rewrote/Revamped the tired, worn regency romance and resent it to publisher #2 (at their request) . . . that's where it is now.
I'm still waiting to hear back on that one. Everybody keep their fingers crossed.
Now I'm also working on a contemporary romance to send to pub. #2 as well (the editor gave me a hot lead).

So, I still seem to be waiting. I guess it I don't ever reach publication, I can market my talents and skills of patience.

Ha.

Public letter to a future me

2008-05-08T21:25:00.000-04:00

I've been inspired by the website futureme.org and have decided to write a letter to myself a year from now. Read if you wish, don't if you don't.

Dear fabulous, wiser, future me,

Have you realized how great your life is yet? seriously. I hope you've stopped complaining and pitying yourself for every small, minuscule thing you think is wrong in your life. And I hope you've realized that you're wrong more often than you are willing to admit.

I hope you've actually published something by now, or that you've been turned down enough to warrant your usual lack of motivation. And take my advice, ease up on yourself. There is a line between being your own harshest critic and your own personal bully. I hope by now you understand the difference.

Are you still thanking God every day for your wonderful husband, beautiful daughter, and loving family. If no, shame on you; if yes, double those messages of gratitude. Honestly, you'll never be able to do this enough.

I suppose I shall leave you for now, hopefully you've got something great and exciting planned. And if not, well there is something great and exciting about that too.

Love,
Me (or you, depending on how you look at it)

I think I'm giving up internet surfing

2008-05-08T10:37:00.002-04:00

With all my spare time I have while at my "job," it's no secret that I peruse the internet with fervor. Well, my dear friends, all that ends today.

Because I was non-chalantly clicking links, seeing were the wonders of the web would take me, and I landed on this (caution--creepy images).

I think I'm sticking to reading my fav blogs and perhaps some MSNBC news from now on.

Shudder.

One of my favorite poems

2008-05-08T08:56:00.002-04:00

The Equilibrists

Full of her long white arms and milky skin

He had a thousand times remembered sin.

Alone in the press of people traveled he,

Minding her jacinth, and myrrh, and ivory.

Mouth he remembered: the quaint orifice

From which came heat that flamed upon the kiss,

Till cold words came down spiral from the head.

Grey doves from the officious tower illsped.

Body: it was a white field ready for love,

On her body's field, with the gaunt tower above,

The lilies grew, beseeching him to take,

If he would pluck and wear them, bruise and break.

Eyes talking: Never mind the cruel words,

Embrace my flowers, but not embrace the swords.

But what they said, the doves came straightway flying

And unsaid: Honor, Honor, they came crying.

Importunate her doves. Too pure, too wise,

Clambering on his shoulder, saying, Arise,

Leave me now, and never let us meet,

Eternal distance now command thy feet.

Predicament indeed, which thus discovers

Honor among thieves, Honor between lovers.

O such a little word is Honor, they feel!

But the grey word is between them cold as steel.

At length I saw these lovers fully were come

Into their torture of equilibrium;

Dreadfully had forsworn each other, and yet

They were bound each to each, and they did not forget.

And rigid as two painful stars, and twirled

About the clustered night their prison world,

They burned with fierce love always to come near,

But honor beat them back and kept them clear .

Ah, the strict lovers, they are ruined now!

I cried in anger. But with puddled brow

Devising for those gibbeted and brave

Came I descanting: Man, what would you have?

For spin your period out, and draw your breath,

A kinder saeculum begins with Death.

Would you ascend to Heaven and bodiless dwell?

Or take your bodies honorless to Hell ?

In Heaven you have heard no marriage is,

No white flesh tinder to your lecheries,

Your male and female tissue sweetly shaped

Sublimed away, and furious blood escaped.

Great lovers lie in Hell, the stubborn ones

Infatuate of the flesh upon the bones;

Stuprate, they rend each other when they kiss,

The pieces kiss again, no end to this.

But still I watched them spinning, orbited nice.

Their flames were not more radiant than their ice.

I dug in the quiet earth and wrought the tomb

And made these lines to memorize their doom:—

EPITAPH

Equilibrists lie here; stranger, tread light;

Close, but untouching in each other's sight;

Mouldered the lips arid ashy the tall skull.

Let them lie perilous and beautiful.

John Crowe Ransom

Preparing for another conference

2008-05-07T13:59:00.003-04:00

What no one tells you when you cheekily inform them that you're planning to forgo a "real" job in adulthood and be a writer instead is that you pretty much have to have 2 jobs in order to finance your budding career.

I've got yet another conference quickly approaching and after hemorrhaging money that I didn't have much of to begin with, I'm left now with trying to decide what to take with me. The problem is, yet again, having too much to choose from.

I'm meeting with an editor interested in some contemporary stuff while I'm up there, so I guess that's got to be taken out of the old filing cabinet and dusted off.

Have I told anyone yet how much I detest work? And that's distinctly what that sounds like.

Ugh.

Why won't someone recognize my scraps of scribblings as the jewels of literary merit that they really are and just give me a million dollars? Seriously. What is this crazy, tragic world coming to?

Well, I will keep everyone up to date on the goings-on (if you will).

Until then, happy writing.

News from the publishing front--

2008-05-06T08:40:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure how much I've shared on here, (and I'm too lazy to go back and reread my handful of posts), but I've had a partial manuscript up for review at one of the "big 4" houses. It was one that the editor and I sat down and hashed out the plot, characters, etc, and I was just waiting for her feedback.

Keep in mind the only reason I even ventured out into this uncharted genre territory was because I was assured that it would be an "instant sell."

So where am I now, you may ask yourselves?

Stuck with 100 pages that I can either rewrite or chunk in the garbage.

Why?

"Not enough sensuality."

Good Lord, it's only been a hundred pages . . . not nearly enough time for them to be slathering all over each other in every paragraph (that comes about page 186).

So they'll buy my partial if I "inject more romance" into what's already there.

So while I'm anxiously awaiting getting published, I think I'll have to pass this one by. I'm too aggravated to even look at my poor characters now. I suppose, if left to their devices, they'll find the steamy, bodice-ripping love I have denied them.

Sigh.

Starving artist=frugal shopper

2008-05-05T12:01:00.003-04:00

Because although I have a 9-5 job, it's at a private university (need I say anything else), and I have an 8 month old daughter, and a husband whose stomach is a bottomless abyss, I have to be thrifty.

Okay, sometimes it's out of necessity, and others it's out of pure enjoyment. I LOVE the good deals.

So I've been reading quite a few personal finance blogs lately. I'll list some that you might want to check out . . .

Money Saving Mom (good blog for the breakdown of deals)
Debt Becomes Her (Quite possibly, my favorite one to read. I even check for updates on my blackberry!!--my guilty pleasure since I don't have internet at my house)
Jane 4 Girls $800 Annual Budget (The things this woman does with a coupon both fascinates and terrifies me)

And there are so many more, I'll be linking up posts that I think will be of interest. But please, check these out. I think they just might be my new heroes. (Anyone who helps me save money always ranks pretty high on my list).

Anyway, I'm stewing on a pretty darn good Walgreens deal, so once I've hammered out all the nitty, gritty details, I will let you guys know. :o)

Farewell to the Praxis II

2008-05-05T11:57:00.001-04:00

For those of you who have been reading my blog, you perhaps noticed a reference to the dreaded Praxis II tests I had to take weekend before last.

Let me set the stage.

I've been out of college for almost 3 years, haven't written an essay in that length of time plus some, and have only read Toni Morrison's Beloved since graduation. And yet, I'm supposed to take both the English Language Content, and Knowledge test and the "Why don't we pick random, obscure works to ask questions about" essay test. I don't think I really need to delineate how nerve-wracking that was for me.

I studied frantically for weeks, shunning all contact with the outside world (sorry, Megan), and spending all my computer time Sparknoting long-forgotten classics. Catcher in the Rye, Slaughterhouse Five, 1984, Our Town, etc. etc. And then, two days before the tests, when I was winding down my studying, I ran across a link to Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar. (I know this is random, but I'm going somewhere here).

Having never read the novel, I decided to do what I like to call "zealous sparknoting;" I read plot summaries, chapter summaries, analysis, character breakdowns, etc. etc. And at the time, I felt like I was wasting valuable nuggets of my life by doing so.

But ha, ha!

On my last essay question, I was faced with a list of 10 books and asked to write about 2. How many had I actually read? One. What else was on the list. Yep, The Bell Jar. Sneaky. I know.

So, how did I do? Quite frankly, I'm so relieved it's over, I haven't given it much thought.

I guess we'll know in a few weeks.

5 Reasons Summer Sucks

2008-05-05T11:51:00.002-04:00

1. From my office, I can hear the happy sounds of children playing.
Aggravating.
2. I, unlike some people I know, still have to be in my office during the summer.
3. It's hot.
4. Ever since some unnamed coworker tackled the ice cream truck driver down to the ground
for the last fudgesicle, he refuses to return.

and

5. Bugs. Need I say more? ugh.

Happy Now?

2008-04-22T14:30:00.002-04:00

I've been chided for not posting lately. So, to my detractors who claim that I'm lazy (something I've never claimed not to be), here you go.

I hope you're happy now.

But seriously, I've been working my tail off trying to study for Praxis II English Exams (coming up this Saturday . . . AGH!) I've been out of college for 3 years now and have just decided that perhaps teaching high school English will be more my cup of tea.

I know, I know. It's hard to imagine anything being more "up my alley" than this current life of professional drudgery. But this new vocation, of course, depends on passing both the Literature and Content Knowledge, blah blah blah, and the Essay test.

So, I'm immersing myself in Keats, Thoreau, Marquez, and Angelou. It's a hard life--but somebody's got to lead it.

So if I'm a bit scant for the next several days, bear with me. But I promise I'll be back, better than ever (not that that's that difficult--wow way to utilize word repetition) in a few days.

Consider that a threat if you wish :o)

And to the person (stop looking around your room, you know who are!) who insisted I post . . . If I fail my test, I'm quitting my job and coming to live with you. Just for spite.

And, you're welcome.

Couldn't think of anything witty to put here.

2008-03-31T08:47:00.002-04:00

It's Monday, and, well, what can you really say about them but that they suck? And it's turning out to be the perfect day to stay inside and pretend that the rest of the world doesn't exist. It's overcast and cold, and I've got scores of chick flicks at home begging to be watched and a down comforter I could huddle under. Sigh.

But, now for happier news . . .

I've decided to start reviewing random romance novels. My selections will encompass a variety of genres. And while I'm sure that no one cares about my opinion anyway, I'm offering it.

My love affair with the ellipsis

2008-03-20T13:14:00.002-04:00

I use them alot. It's a habit I suppose, but I have to admire them for their handiness and versatility. Probably my favorite punctuation mark of all time.

All I have left to say is

. . .

Attack of the Brilliance: Week 2

2008-03-18T12:12:00.003-04:00

Now, my original goal in this weekly segment was to highlight idiots that we've all had personal contact with, but after only one installment, I'm already verging off the path. I heard this news clip on my way to work this morning, and immediately decided we had a winner. So, wherever he is, I hope he knows that we're all clapping--just for him.

Now, perhaps you've already heard this story, and if so, I apologize. It's all new to me. But then again, it takes sometime for breaking news to get to my Podunk city.

So it goes like this:

On Mar. 14th, a man in PA is in the midst of his brilliant bank robbery plan. Like all good master criminals, he has thoroughly thought out this situation. Everything is planned to the T, such as his ski mask that he's wearing and the rifle he brought for intimidation. And perhaps something more sinister.

There's no spinach in his teeth, and he's wearing his most fragrant deodorant. The car's gas tank is full, and he even got new spark plugs for the occasion. (This is all really conjecture, but as you'll soon see, he's pretty clever, so I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt).

He gets out of his car . . . put my mask on? check. gun? check. open the door? damn. They're closed.

Apparently, this particular bank closes at noon on Thursday. It's an odd time, I grant you, but you would think a little delving into the branch's hours would have been appropriate.

Unwilling to be foiled so easily, however, our criminal mastermind sits in his car so several moments, and then tries the door again.

Still no luck.

Bank employees, however, spotted him on his second trip to the door. They were having a great day. Getting off early and getting to call the police and report that there's a gunman outside, who, luckily for them, can't get in.

They got his plate number off his car, and cops were able to trace it back to the 28 year old suspect. He's in jail now. Apparently, no one would post his $50,000 bond.

So, I leave my advice to this week's Attack of the Brilliance winner.

1) Research, research, research. It really can't be said enough. It will help in all endeavors, both criminal and non.
2) When preparing for the commission of a crime, ask to borrow someone else's car. Or, at the very least, take the tags off your own. Getting pulled over and receiving a ticket for improper plates is not as hefty as jail time or $50,000. It's not that difficult.

and lastly,
3) If you're on your way inside to rob a bank, and the door won't open, take it as a sign from the good Lord that perhaps you're not meant to be doing that. At least that day.

Another day, another . . .

2008-03-17T08:35:00.002-04:00

I've only been at work 5 minutes this morning, and already, I'm trying to figure out an early exit strategy. I could, of course, use the tried and true "my cat needs emergency surgery today," except that I don't have a cat. And I'm pretty sure everyone here knows it.

I did an ancient inclement weather dance this morning before leaving my house. Not so much as a snowflake on my way up here. Although, I did get a call from my neighbor telling me if I was going to "dance around like a crazy, naked heathen" to at least shut my blinds. Which, is not fair. I was totally in pajamas.

But since work is sure to be deadly dull, I'll put my mind to figuring out who wins this week's "Attack of the Brillance." To those of you reading who would like to put your own candidates up for consideration, shoot me an email (link's on my profile page).

And until then, happy writing, reading, and/or working in the bowels of hell. I'm right here with ya'.

I said I'd post soon, but I lied (humming Michael Bolton tune)

2008-03-15T19:30:00.003-04:00

Try not to have too much faith in me; when I say that I will post the next day, I truly mean it, but . . .

I'm a slacker.

It's a painful truth that I've had to come to grips with. But, I won't waste time apologizing for something I'm sure I'll do again in the near future, instead, I'll apologize for something entirely different.

I've written like, another 300 words in two days. Sigh. I guess I'm going to have to throw it into overdrive if I want to make Sven proud. But I'm kinda stuck in a place where I feel like I need to reformat the whole novel, and it's been hard to plow on with that looming over my head. But, I'm notorious for stuff like this. It's shameful actually. I'll get super-close and then suddenly find a reason why I can't possibly let the story come to a natural conclusion.

Perhaps I'm afraid of finally setting my characters free.

Perhaps I'm reluctant to write the ending for fear that I'll think of another direction it could go.

Or, quite possibly, I'm just a slacker.

The jury's still out. But, if you're having similar problems, let me know. Hearing from kindred spirits will certainly help.

The Ultimate Flip-Flopper

2008-03-11T16:26:00.002-04:00

So, I was all jazzed to begin my 70 days of sweat with the newest addition to my unfinished manuscript family. But then, as I'm sitting in front of the computer, of its own volition, the mouse clicks on the old regency. (And by old, I mean from about 8 months ago).

I'd come 50% of the way with it, and then just dumped it off on my flash drive like so much garbage. Well, no more! I have resurrected the will to create witty repartee and engaging characters. And, as a result, I got 2,062 words done today. Bringing our grand total to . . . .

60,473 words.

Yes, yes, I know. Clap for me. Although I'll try not to get to arrogant about my stunningly awesome speed writing today. Truthfully, it will probably take three times as long to edit it as it did to write it and I'm still making up lost ground away.

So, I'm back to work, just wanted to check in. I promise I'll be back tomorrow with something witty and amusing.

Sentimental Love Quote of the Day:

"I believe that if I should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth, I would hear your footsteps.:

Benito Perez Galdos

Attack of the Brilliance: Week One

2008-03-10T16:28:00.004-04:00

I must say, without a doubt, that I love stupid people. Throughout this blog, probably on a weekly basis, I will attempt to chronicle the misadventures of several idiots I know. Of course, I will alter minor, insignificant details about them just in case they happen to be reading my manifesto as well. (Although, I think if they were honest with themselves, they would have to admit that they would know i was insulting them if I called them out by name). Sigh.

Grand Prize Idiot of the Week:

My place of business almost burned down today. Apparently, someone decided that they'd enjoy a nice spot of tea, only to discover four hours [and a distinctly nasty smell] later, that the tea-brewing instruments had been left unattended and over an open flame so to speak. So, with no small amount of caterwauling and hysteria, the issue was resolved. No apology has been forthcoming.

Runner Up:

I was sitting in the living room with my husband on Sunday when I noticed that there seemed to be quite a commotion occurring on the front lawn. Several kids live around us, so I never pay much attention to the merry sounds of children playing. But these voices sounded awful close to the house.

Peering out the window, I spotted the neighbor boy [approximately 11 years old] peeing in our yard. (He was mad at us because my husband refused to go to the store and buy his deadbeat dad beer--for the eighteenth time). His friend stood beside him, cheering him on in an impressive display of brotherly encouragement.

To the aforementioned little boy I say this, don't forget we live on a very busy street. And while urinating on our dead grass was clever, showing your privates to the passersby was not.

Kudos.

Don't worry, next week (or possibly even tomorrow--depending on the material I have to work with) will bring a new installment of Attack of the Brilliance.

Steppin' it up with Sven

2008-03-10T10:40:00.002-04:00

March 1st started the new round of 70 Days of Sweat. The goal is, by May 16th to have a finished manuscript. Anywhere from 60-100k words. So, without having to do the math, that's a whole lot of words--every, single day. Ha.

As usual, I'm starting late.

We're 10 days into (three for me) and the current word count on my newest Regency is . . . (drum roll please) . . .

5,184.

Pathetic.

So, every day, in order to maintain a little bit of accountability, I'll post my word count. Perhaps I'll be able to shame myself into writing more.

Why can't bestsellers just write themselves?

So this is how it begins . . .

2008-03-10T10:25:00.005-04:00

Perhaps I realized the trend too late . . .

An author without a blog, you say?

Unbelievable.

But true.

Until today.

I've finally succumbed to the murmuring peer pressure and decided to begin a blog dedicated solely to the often amusing and always interesting (not necessarily in a good way) thoughts I have. And since I'm a writer by trade, I figured this would be the best way to ensure that I have yet another reason to procrastinate. Now I can post random musings rather than beefing up my word count. Glorious.

But, however you've found this little respite, Welcome. May your time here not be that big of a waste.